US Space Force
Seriously, I was wondering what outrageous
presidential scandal I could possibly
write about this month what with all the White
House departures and the firing of the Secretary
of State and plans for the Baboon In Chief to
personally meet with Fat Little Rocket Man.
I can just imagine those two shlubby savages
crouching and throwing their poop at each other
while jumping up and down and screeching like
enraged monkeys. Or maybe they'll take one
look at each other and agree to exchange hair
styles. I mean, how much worse could our
leader look with white walls instead of an
OK, stay calm. Here's his latest words,
spoken in front of an audience of US Marines.
The president proposed that the US have a Space
Force! I'm laughing so hard, I'm farting.
You know, he makes this stuff up as he goes
along, right off the top of his head underneath
the orange toupee. (Imagine the shame of
being his queer personal hairdresser, following
him around wherever he goes, shelpping six cans
of heavy duty hairspray, and a horse's butt grooming
brush). I think its a great
idea and that he should be aboard the first
space rocket shot into the void as a military
orchestra plays Adios Asshole and Hail to the
So sure, why not? A new US Space Force can
be paid for with the blood of the poor. In
his incoherent remarks introducing his idea, he
said there will be lots of "private money."
Private money paying for US Armed Forces?
WTF? Maybe an erectile dysfunction drug
company could sponsor the
president's next birthday party. There's
the corporate and rich people's tax cut raising
the national debt into the trillions, and the
cost of the Great Wall, the trade war cost to
the economy, and lets not forget about 30
million for the Military Parade. So another 70 billion or so to
fund a Space Force shouldn't be a problem.
We could even save money by buying the space
ship toilets from China and the top secret
secure software from
Russia as we already do now. I've already
got an idea for the Space Force Anthem:
"Somewhere over the rainbow" as sung by
Judy Garland. And the song of Space Force
Headquarters would be "San Francisco" as sung by
Jeanette McDonald as the city fell in ruins at
OK, now seriously, the Air Force grew out of the
US Army Air Corps of WWII. And now the Air
Force actually is America's military 'space
force' such as it is at present. A few
years ago there was an AF recruiting commercial,
regularly broadcast nationally on network TV
channels, it portrayed a 9 year old girl out in
farm country staring intently at a brewing
tornado on the horizon; her father had to pick
her up and bring her inside as she continued
fearlessly looking at the storm over his
shoulder. Then, the scene shifts to a
young woman in an Air Force uniform aboard a
space station actively monitoring meteorological
displays; and the voice over says, "We've been
waiting for you!" Brilliant; best
recruiting commercial I ever saw! But, we
don't even have military space stations like
that yet. And so far, the invading armada
from Alpha Centauri is still thousands of years
away. So, methinks the president-who-never-served is
suffering from premature militarization.
Now, about High Treason and the Collusion with
Russia investigation: So far we've had nearly
every crony appointed to the inner sanctum White
House underwear cabinet having had 'meetings
with Russians,' payments from foreign
governments, and hidden piles of millions of
money. Even Cushy-Tushy had a plan to set
up a secret back-channel line of presidential
communication with Putinh
via the Russian
Embassy.... . HOLY SHIT!!! No
Collusion? If that's not treason, what is?
If it looks like treason, smells like treason,
and tastes like treason; it's TREASON!
BUT, in implausible deniability, the moron 'knew
nothing about any of that.' Oh, and he didn't
know about over a hundred thousand dollars,
each, either, paid to strippers to keep quite about
having schtupped the president while his wife
gave birth. OK, so if he didn't know, what
kind of an incompetent idiot leader does that
make him? On the other hand, his not
knowing is seriously unlikely because everyone
knows he's the world's biggest Control Queen.
And so now in mid March Mr. Innocent wants to
shut down the investigation and fire the Special
Counsel in a grand Nixonian moment of glory!
That didn't work out very well the last time
that was done.
So now, to get back to the
beginning, all the adults have left the
administration. And the president has sent
an emissary to the nut farm to open the cages
and bring out the lunatics who will do anything
for a banana. These
seem to be very angry people who like the smell
of war, the woosh of rockets being launched, the
thrill of the big screen war room, the blood
rush of cataclysmic change, and idiotically
anticipating the Rapture. One has a great
big moustache that the president doesn't like.
Seriously. For a known heterosexual
womanizer, he certainly seems to have homoerotic
In a recent speech the President of the United
States bragged about having lied to the Prime
Minister of Canada, with whom we share a border
of over 5500 miles. For this jerk, it may
seem like the least of his 'scandals of the
month.' But its important to remember that
President Obama taught America's children about
integrity; while this president teaches them
shameful sins such as self delusion, lying,
lying, and lying.
Meanwhile in Australia the shocking hideous news
of the day is the big Cricket Scandal!
Yes, some star players Scuffed the Ball!!!
Horrors! Just imagine the serenity of
being an Australian.
fmr USN, Sgt First Class USAR