How does it look to
impoverished Pakistanis to see people in Los
Angeles lining up for free food in shiny sixty
five thousand dollar SUVs and driving back to
their beautiful suburban homes? And how
does that look to impoverished inner city
Americans who see people in beautiful suburban
New Jersey lining up for free Covid testing in
their sixty five thousand dollar SUVs, when
there is an abundance of nothing in the inner
Welcome to Republican America
in the middle of the end of the world pandemic!
Meanwhile every supermarket in America has
jacked up prices for everything to double and
more. Following the president's lead, the
pandemic is a priceless opportunity for
Toilet paper? If you can find it, be
prepared to pay through the nose to wipe your
And while the president and
profiteers gleefully negotiate golden
opportunities to make millions selling
ventilators and stuff, the white supremacist
police arrogantly see their chance to vent their
genocidal hate of minority Americans, viciously
murdering people all across our great nation.
And when good people dare to
protest, the president calls up the military to
spray them with chemicals and machine gun fire! Who
needs terrorists when the president who never
served wants our own armed forces to shoot us?
And as the pandemic spreads
in wave after wave of mass infection, the
president, vice president and the entire
Republican party promulgate the false
information that its over and its perfectly safe
to party on the beaches and bars in huge crowds
of unmasked hedonistic abandon. How these
leaders must hate America! Their lips must
be passionately glued to Putinh's ass. Why
else would they be working so hard to assure the
horrible death of over 200,000 Americans?
With 50 million Americans unemployed and double
that number disabled or elderly, why are the
president and his Republican party so determined
to destroy their healthcare insurance. How
they must hate America! Why would the
president and his party tear down environmental
protections to re pollute our water and air?
How they must hate America! Why would they
stand firm on keeping brutal armed racist police
in power. How they must hate America!
Their sins against the people could go on for a
thousand pages. Simply, they hate America.
And their savage simple minded supporters are
willing to let their own children starve to death
for the privilege of prejudice. God forbid
that a minority family should receive a free bag
of groceries. NO, to prevent that, out of
pure ignorant hate, they would vote to prevent
anyone from getting aid, including their won
children. Dying of pride, the new
Republican American value.
Now, across America, there
are proud patriotic police unions vehemently
publicly opposed to the transparent release of
personnel reports on abusive officers.
Their leaders brazenly protest the prosecution
of supposedly righteous honorable family men who
have brutally murdered minorities.
And the president and his
Russian Ass Kissing Republican minions tell us
that everything is fine, that they have beaten
the virus, its safe to go out and party, while
millions are contaminated every day. Soon,
they will be telling us to ignore the bodies
lying in the streets.
Just imagine a science
fiction horror story about finding yourself in
an alternate universe where an incurable
contagion has spread to every corner of the
Earth, contaminating and killing millions faster
and faster. Meanwhile all the leaders all
over the planet have decided its bad politics to
admit its out of control and the end is near;
rather they have decided to accept as many fat
envelopes stuffed with money as they can,
getting fabulously rich while leading the stupid
masses to happy extinction. Awh, yes,
unfortunately, its true.
Now, of course, I'm only
kidding, don't worry, everything is fine,
What to Name the Capitol State
by Denny Meyer
In June, the US House of Representatives voted
to make Washington DC a state, which would give
its residents full rights, a congressperson and
a senator. At present, its a symbolic vote
because the Republican run Senate would not even
consider such a bill. But, come next
January, it could become a serious viable
possibility. And that would bring us to
consider something profound and monumentally
controversial: What to Name the Capitol City
State? Forget calling it Washington,
there's already a state with that name; and
besides, Washington was a slave owner, forget
Not only that, but George Washington was Not the
first president, despite what we all believe we
were taught in elementary school. What?
Just pause and think, What was the date that
this nation declared independence?
Everyone knows that, it was July 4th 1776
(actually it was on July 2nd, but never mind the
minor details). OK and what was the date
that George Washington was elected president?
That will stump most Americans, but you can
google it, it was in 1789. Hmm. So
who became president in 1776? It was an
obscure Danish immigrant named John Hanson, who
was elected as president of the Continental
Congress, which was the only American government
at that time. Never heard of him?
There's actually an interstate to DC called The
John Hanson Highway.
The Annapolis-Washington Expressway was renamed
Hanson Highway in
1954. Who knew, now you do. So,
should we name the capitol state Hanson?
Nah, nobody ever heard of him.
So, what about the Columbus part of the name,
District of Columbia? Well, they are
tearing down his statue all across America. Not
only did he enslave, kill, rob, and torture the
natives, but he was a flaming idiot. He
thought he had discovered India! Not only
that, but he never set foot in North America, in
fact he was totally unaware of the existence of
the entire Western Hemisphere, he never
'discovered' South, North, nor Central America.
This was probably the biggest blunder in human
history! He was an imbecile.
OK, lets get serious here and find someone appropriate to name the
Capitol State for. The firs person to consider is the explorer who
actually discovered North America, Amerigo
Vespucci. Yes, were you absent that day in
elementary school? That's the fellow the
country is named after. So, shall we call
the Capitol city Vespucci? The very idea
makes me nauseous, not going to happen. OK
then, how about the first European to set foot
on the continent: Leif Ericson. Not a bad
sounding name, but I believe he actually landed
in what is now Canada; so, scratch him off the
Lets pick someone who deserves such recognition,
such as a Black American, perhaps Barack Obama.
If the residents of our capitol got to vote on
it, he'd win hands down! But, well, he's
still alive; its rather sordid to pick a living
person. My genuine selection suggestion
would be another famous and historical founding
father who, like Obama, was also biracial and
thereby most representative of this nation's
true identity: Alexander Hamilton!
What? You didn't know Hamilton was
biracial? They conveniently don't teach
that. He was also an immigrant.
Hamilton was born in Charlestown, Saint Kitts
and Nevis the son of a woman who was euphemistically called 'a French Colonial,'
i.e. a mixed race woman. He was born out of wedlock, fathered by
his mom's then boyfriend, a Scottish Officer who finished his tour of
duty on the island and went home to his white wife with nary a thought
about his kid. Then, she met a much kinder British officer, named
Hamilton, who fell in love with her and her beautiful boy and married
her and made young Alexander his son. You could say the rest is
history, but there's much more to tell. Even though fair Alex
could pass for white, a mixed race kid born out of wedlock didn't have
much chance to become much more than a shoeshine boy working the streets
of an obscure Caribbean island. But, as it happened, Alex was a
once-in-a-generation prodigy, a genius. He adoptive dad had the
money to send him to school. He was so brilliant that his teachers
said they could teach him no more and they recommended that he go North
to the Colonies and apply to one of the best universities in person.
The last part was important. They didn't suggest that he should
actually lie, rather that, in person, he should simply omit mentioning
that he wasn't white. Interviewing him, looking him in the face,
it never occurred to them; he had the highest grades from a very
reputable school. And so he attended Yale. From there, he
was offered a commission in the Continental Army and well -from there
the rest is in fact history. Except for another little detail that
he also omitted mentioning; he was gay. What? Yes, 20 year
old Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Hamilton's lover at Valley Forge PA was
24 year old Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens. So, who the hell was
Laurens? He wasn't just anybody. He was the son of the
President of the Continental Congress that cold winter of 1778, Henry
Laurens. So, these two clever boys in glorious uniforms shared a
cabin and what went on inside at night in the middle of a war was
nobody's business. As it happened, they were both naturally fluent in
French. And when Benjamin Franklin
recruited General Freidrich Von Stuben to come
and train the Continental Army at Valley Forge,
it turned out he didn't speak English, but was
fluent in the European international language,
French. So, General Washington tapped his
two clever young LTCs to work with him. It
was just coincidentally convenient that Von
Stuben was also quite gay. They stood at
his side, in the training field, translating
every word including his cursing at the troops,
most foully, in French. As it happened,
sadly, Laurens later died in battle and a bereft
Hamilton went on to do what was expected of a
rising founding father of a nation and married
As a side note to the above bit of history,
among the ten thousand troops at Valley Forge, a
Dutch volunteer named LT Enslin also happened to
be gay and violated fraternization rules by
bringing a German volunteer, PVT Monhart, to
his cabin for an afternoon tryst.
Unfortunately, Enslin's roommate walked in on
them in the middle of legs-up in-flagrante-delicto. Enslin bears the
dubious distinction of being the first known
American service member kicked out for being
queer. He was prosecuted and literally
drummed out of the Army by none other than
Colonel Aaron Burr, who later -as Vice
President- murdered Alexander Hamilton in an
illegal gun duel in Weehawken New Jersey.
They don't teach you this stuff in second grade.
Where was I? Yes, so I suggest that the Capitol
City State be named for Alexander Hamilton.
No need to add 'ton' at the end, its already
there. Now, just one more minor detail.
Traditionalists are used to the DC part of the
name of our capitol. As it happens, a
coincidental linguistic convenience allows us to
simply reverse the letters, DC to CD changing
the abbreviation from 'District of Columbia' to
the far more appropriate 'Capitol District.'
Hence, Hamilton CD! What could be more
©2020 Gay Military Signal