America, July 2020

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Pandemic
Politics
Profiteering
and Protest

How does it look to impoverished Pakistanis to see people in Los Angeles lining up for free food in shiny sixty five thousand dollar SUVs and driving back to their beautiful suburban homes?  And how does that look to impoverished inner city Americans who see people in beautiful suburban New Jersey lining up for free Covid testing in their sixty five thousand dollar SUVs, when there is an abundance of nothing in the inner cities?

Welcome to Republican America in the middle of the end of the world pandemic!  Meanwhile every supermarket in America has jacked up prices for everything to double and more.  Following the president's lead, the pandemic is a priceless opportunity for profiteering.  Toilet paper?  If you can find it, be prepared to pay through the nose to wipe your ass.

And while the president and profiteers gleefully negotiate golden opportunities to make millions selling ventilators and stuff, the white supremacist police arrogantly see their chance to vent their genocidal hate of minority Americans, viciously murdering people all across our great nation.  

And when good people dare to protest, the president calls up the military to spray them with chemicals and machine gun fire!  Who needs terrorists when the president who never served wants our own armed forces to shoot us?

And as the pandemic spreads in wave after wave of mass infection, the president, vice president and the entire Republican party promulgate the false information that its over and its perfectly safe to party on the beaches and bars in huge crowds of unmasked hedonistic abandon.  How these leaders must hate America!  Their lips must be passionately glued to Putinh's ass.  Why else would they be working so hard to assure the horrible death of over 200,000 Americans?   With 50 million Americans unemployed and double that number disabled or elderly, why are the president and his Republican party so determined to destroy their healthcare insurance.  How they must hate America!  Why would the president and his party tear down environmental protections to re pollute our water and air?  How they must hate America!  Why would they stand firm on keeping brutal armed racist police in power.  How they must hate America!  Their sins against the people could go on for a thousand pages.  Simply, they hate America.  And their savage simple minded supporters are willing to let their own children starve to death for the privilege of prejudice.  God forbid that a minority family should receive a free bag of groceries.  NO, to prevent that, out of pure ignorant hate, they would vote to prevent anyone from getting aid, including their won children.  Dying of pride, the new Republican American value.

Now, across America, there are proud patriotic police unions vehemently publicly opposed to the transparent release of personnel reports on abusive officers.  Their leaders brazenly protest the prosecution of supposedly righteous honorable family men who have brutally murdered minorities.

And the president and his Russian Ass Kissing Republican minions tell us that everything is fine, that they have beaten the virus, its safe to go out and party, while millions are contaminated every day.  Soon, they will be telling us to ignore the bodies lying in the streets.

Just imagine a science fiction horror story about finding yourself in an alternate universe where an incurable contagion has spread to every corner of the Earth, contaminating and killing millions faster and faster.  Meanwhile all the leaders all over the planet have decided its bad politics to admit its out of control and the end is near; rather they have decided to accept as many fat envelopes stuffed with money as they can, getting fabulously rich while leading the stupid masses to happy extinction.  Awh, yes, unfortunately, its true.

Now, of course, I'm only kidding, don't worry, everything is fine, really.

2020 GayMilitarySignal

What to Name the Capitol State

by Denny Meyer
 
In June, the US House of Representatives voted to make Washington DC a state, which would give its residents full rights, a congressperson and a senator.  At present, its a symbolic vote because the Republican run Senate would not even consider such a bill.  But, come next January, it could become a serious viable possibility.  And that would bring us to consider something profound and monumentally controversial: What to Name the Capitol City State?  Forget calling it Washington, there's already a state with that name; and besides, Washington was a slave owner, forget about it!
 
Not only that, but George Washington was Not the first president, despite what we all believe we were taught in elementary school.  What?  Just pause and think, What was the date that this nation declared independence?  Everyone knows that, it was July 4th 1776 (actually it was on July 2nd, but never mind the minor details).  OK and what was the date that George Washington was elected president?  That will stump most Americans, but you can google it, it was in 1789.  Hmm.  So who became president in 1776?  It was an obscure Danish immigrant named John Hanson, who was elected as president of the Continental Congress, which was the only American government at that time.  Never heard of him?  There's actually an interstate to DC called The John Hanson Highway. The Annapolis-Washington Expressway was renamed the John Hanson Highway in 1954. Who knew, now you do.  So, should we name the capitol state Hanson?  Nah, nobody ever heard of him.

So, what about the Columbus part of the name, District of Columbia?  Well, they are tearing down his statue all across America. Not only did he enslave, kill, rob, and torture the natives, but he was a flaming idiot.  He thought he had discovered India!  Not only that, but he never set foot in North America, in fact he was totally unaware of the existence of the entire Western Hemisphere, he never 'discovered' South, North, nor Central America.  This was probably the biggest blunder in human history!  He was an imbecile.
 
OK, lets get serious here and find someone appropriate to name the Capitol State for.  The firs person to consider is the explorer who actually discovered North America, Amerigo Vespucci.  Yes, were you absent that day in elementary school?  That's the fellow the country is named after.  So, shall we call the Capitol city Vespucci?  The very idea makes me nauseous, not going to happen.  OK then, how about the first European to set foot on the continent: Leif Ericson.  Not a bad sounding name, but I believe he actually landed in what is now Canada; so, scratch him off the list.
 
Lets pick someone who deserves such recognition, such as a Black American, perhaps Barack Obama.  If the residents of our capitol got to vote on it, he'd win hands down!  But, well, he's still alive; its rather sordid to pick a living person.  My genuine selection suggestion would be another famous and historical founding father who, like Obama, was also biracial and thereby most representative of this nation's true identity:  Alexander Hamilton!  What?  You didn't know Hamilton was biracial?  They conveniently don't teach that.  He was also an immigrant.  Hamilton was born in Charlestown, Saint Kitts and Nevis the son of a woman who was euphemistically called 'a French Colonial,' i.e. a mixed race woman.  He was born out of wedlock, fathered by his mom's then boyfriend, a Scottish Officer who finished his tour of duty on the island and went home to his white wife with nary a thought about his kid.  Then, she met a much kinder British officer, named Hamilton, who fell in love with her and her beautiful boy and married her and made young Alexander his son.  You could say the rest is history, but there's much more to tell.  Even though fair Alex could pass for white, a mixed race kid born out of wedlock didn't have much chance to become much more than a shoeshine boy working the streets of an obscure Caribbean island.  But, as it happened, Alex was a once-in-a-generation prodigy, a genius.  He adoptive dad had the money to send him to school.  He was so brilliant that his teachers said they could teach him no more and they recommended that he go North to the Colonies and apply to one of the best universities in person.  The last part was important.  They didn't suggest that he should actually lie, rather that, in person, he should simply omit mentioning that he wasn't white.  Interviewing him, looking him in the face, it never occurred to them; he had the highest grades from a very reputable school.  And so he attended Yale.  From there, he was offered a commission in the Continental Army and well -from there the rest is in fact history.  Except for another little detail that he also omitted mentioning; he was gay.  What?  Yes, 20 year old Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Hamilton's lover at Valley Forge PA was 24 year old Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens.  So, who the hell was Laurens?  He wasn't just anybody.  He was the son of the President of the Continental Congress that cold winter of 1778, Henry Laurens.  So, these two clever boys in glorious uniforms shared a cabin and what went on inside at night in the middle of a war was nobody's business.  As it happened, they were both naturally fluent in French.  And when Benjamin Franklin recruited General Freidrich Von Stuben to come and train the Continental Army at Valley Forge, it turned out he didn't speak English, but was fluent in the European international language, French.  So, General Washington tapped his two clever young LTCs to work with him.  It was just coincidentally convenient that Von Stuben was also quite gay.  They stood at his side, in the training field, translating every word including his cursing at the troops, most foully, in French.  As it happened, sadly, Laurens later died in battle and a bereft Hamilton went on to do what was expected of a rising founding father of a nation and married women.
 
As a side note to the above bit of history, among the ten thousand troops at Valley Forge, a Dutch volunteer named LT Enslin also happened to be gay and violated fraternization rules by bringing a German volunteer, PVT Monhart, to his cabin for an afternoon tryst.  Unfortunately, Enslin's roommate walked in on them in the middle of legs-up in-flagrante-delicto.  Enslin bears the dubious distinction of being the first known American service member kicked out for being queer.  He was prosecuted and literally drummed out of the Army by none other than Colonel Aaron Burr, who later -as Vice President- murdered Alexander Hamilton in an illegal gun duel in Weehawken New Jersey.  They don't teach you this stuff in second grade.
Where was I? Yes, so I suggest that the Capitol City State be named for Alexander Hamilton.  No need to add 'ton' at the end, its already there.  Now, just one more minor detail.  Traditionalists are used to the DC part of the name of our capitol.  As it happens, a coincidental linguistic convenience allows us to simply reverse the letters, DC to CD changing the abbreviation from 'District of Columbia' to the far more appropriate 'Capitol District.'  Hence, Hamilton CD!  What could be more perfect.
 
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